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          As tired and exhausted as I am,I had to write this to express our undying gratitude to you all,or I won’t be able to sleep. The events of today were a bit beyond the scope of “taking your wife for surgery”. It certainly would seem that there aren’t many aspects of our life that ever go according to plan,but I imagine that’s the case for most of us.

       I wish I could describe just how much of a quiet warrior that Karen is and has been throughout her illnesses. I’ve stated many times that she never complains,but I wouldn’t blame her one bit if she did. In the medical taxi on the way to the hospital,i was holding her hand and her face just displayed a serene calmness,a face that when I see I know I don’t have to ask if she’s ok (which I do about 100 times daily). I decided to allow her serenity to guide my anxiety and fear.

       After we got out of the car,as I was wheeling her into the hospital,I said to her “I’m so proud of you,I can’t believe how calm you are, Bear” She looked at me and said “I know I have you” and “Our friends who watch OPL with us are more family and have supported us so much more than anyone who we know in person that we once believed in,and I feel them with me now”

       It was such a peaceful feeling that she reassured me with that second. We were taken into the pre op and post op room. They took a vial of blood,which I thought was just routine. (More on that later). After gowning her,and seeing the surgeon,I knew the time was approaching. Hearing the procedure was an hour was a bit nerve wracking,but I expected it. When they put the cap on her head,I knew it was time. I asked the nurse “Please take care of my wife,she’s all I have” and I kissed Karen on the forehead and told her “You come back to me in one piece bear” and as I walked out into the waiting area, I could feel the uncontrollable rush of tears just bursting out of me. My fear of losing her,thinking of her having to endure another painful surgery,the frustration of not being able to give her the best of everything she deserves,the anger at the forces and people whose actions prevented us from having our home,or any home, the fear of my own health issues,the loss of everyone I ever loved, and yes,sheer exhaustion. All of it in giant sobs that I could not stop. I went into the chapel. I cried in the pew. I prayed. I reached down inside and regathered myself.

      As I returned to the waiting room,I sat down and discovered the fraudulent charge on Karen’s Social security debit card. I know we didn’t order anything,so I called the company that made the charge. It was a “fulfillment services” company in Florida. They drop ship items for people who have online stores. The man said hello,and immediately told me hundreds of people have been charged the same exact thing in the last six weeks. I had to cancel the card and account,and we have to wait 5 business days to get a new one. I can’t believe this was happening today of all days.

       After that,a woman frantically ran into the waiting room,to the window,yelling “Where is he,is he dead?” Over and over. I asked the woman if I could help. She said her fiance was having brain surgery. He was young too. He had at that point been on the table over 4 hours. I tried to calm her down,then she was gone. I never saw her after that,or found out what happened. However,it made me feel grateful that she wasn’t me. I prayed for them,and then I felt thankful that Karen wasn’t having an operation as severe as that. I was that person in 1997,when my mother had brain surgery 4 months before dying of cancer. As bad as our situation is, I was thankful that Karen wasn’t having brain surgery.

      Finally,the doctor came out,was happy about the results of the surgery,but was concerned about Karen’s vitals and chance of bleeding. She also has to keep taking the antibiotics for a week. He also said that he wanted to keep her until positive she was stabilized.

      I was brought into recovery. Karen was so happy to see me,as was I. She was in a bit of pain,but so much better than I thought she’d be. In any case,I mentioned to the nurse that we originally were supposed to be there at 930 but they called us to be there at 130 instead. Imagine my surprise when she said “Oh yes,that’s because she wasn’t cleared yet” I said”WHAT??” She said”Well her potassium levels weren’t acceptable,that’s why we took blood when you came in”.

      So that was never communicated to us before that moment. I was angry,but grateful that there was a chance that we might have been sent home with NO SURGERY today. This was why I was hesitant about Karen having pre testing immediately after a dialysis treatment.

      Anyway,after many hours, we’re back at the hotel. I can barely keep my eyes open. Karen has dialysis in the morning,too. I’m grateful for all of you, everything you do. I thank you,and yes,we do need a little help if possible. We restart the fight tomorrow. Post again soon

Bless you all

CASHAPP $BFN73

PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM or Brian Nearey.  

VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1

or the GoFundMe on my pinned tweet on X.

I am putting in a picture of Scootie SPLOOT because let’s face it,who doesn’t love a good kitty or pupper sploot? 😂 This is one of the many ways he uses Daddy as a pillow/bed/sofa 😂. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Yes,this is a bit long,but I would appreciate if you listen to it when you can ..Talk soon!

Brian

    Real quick, family. Hope you’re enjoying your Holiday weekend. We have a huge week coming up in preparation for Karen’s stone removal on Monday, September 8. More about that tomorrow.

     I went outside before after it turned midnight. I looked up in the sky and let the thoughts flow through me. It’s September 1st. On August 2nd,I watched “friends” who claimed they loved us so much that we were “family” drive away with the dreams Karen and I had for a fresh start. They also took every last penny we had from the house sale with them, because those were the funds that were not only supposed to facilitate that new start,they were supposed to be repaid if the apartment fell through.

       You all know they not only didn’t pay us back,but ceased all communication shortly after. The point is,that Saturday when they drove off,I stood there in shock wondering how we would possibly survive until we got our next Social Security check. 29 days of scrambling to pay rent,to keep food in our mouths and the cats. How was I going to keep us alive?

       Once again,YOU, OPLIVE Family,came to our rescue. You reminded us that YOU are actual family, people who so unselfishly gave of yourself. Your thoughts and encouragement and donations got us to survive one of the worst months we’ve ever had to live through.

      So, please enjoy today,and know in your heart and soul just how much we care about you and love you. We cherish each and everyone of you. We take every kind word,prayer,and penny and treat it preciously. Know today that you saved our lives. Be proud of it, because you should be. We will never forget anything and everything you’ve done.

       Big Week This Week..As you might have just seen my post,it’s going to be a daily barrage of appointments,clearances,testing, dialysis, culminating in what will hopefully be a successful surgery to remove the literal rock in Karen’s bladder. I’ll keep you all in the loop. You mean the world to us. Yes,we will always need a little help,but this is getting done no matter what.. I don’t have time to dwell on anything that’ll anger us,depress us,or sadden us. Time to fight,and you’re all behind me,so I know we’ll be ok.

We Love You All…

Love,

Brian Karen and the 🐈🐈🐈

CASHAPP $BFN73

PAYPAL bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey

VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1

     It’s Friday morning. I realize that I sounded awfully desperate and destitute the other night. Yes, I am guilty of that. However, even though I’m not proud of it, I have absolutely no problem laying bare the difficult and sordid truth to people I consider my family.

      I write what I do for multiple reasons. One,to keep everyone updated about Karen’s fight for her life,and my role as caregiver. I always pray that someone who might be going through something similar will find anything they identify with. 

     Obviously,the other reason is I am at times out of options to feed us,to get money for some transportation issues, rent here (which will end soon),or unexpected expenses regarding Karen’s care. I am not at all proud of that,as you all know.

      Yes, we were made fools of by people we thought we could trust. It makes me feel worse that I had to shift their obligation to return our money to asking for yet more handouts. I just would appreciate the understanding from you who care for us that because I will do ANYTHING to keep my wife alive, sometimes I do panic. I get terrified. My anxiety goes into overdrive.  It’s one of the worst feelings in the world to try and sleep not knowing if you can feed your family the next day. Yes,I feel guilty for doing it. However,if I’m not completely honest about what is going on, then there is no use in telling the story.

      I want the whole story told because I know WE ARE GOING TO WIN. I will persevere, I will fight, I will give her everything I have to bring her happiness and to ensure the medical team does the right thing by her, always. When we do win,I want all of you to be there with us. This is the way I’ll always believe.

      Right now,as we speak, it’s 4 days and 4 nights until we get the SSD check. This month was a 5 week wait instead of four. The way the calendar falls. It got to the point where I had to go find cans in the garbage room to eat one night. The money some of you have generously donated have the rent paid for another 2 weeks. We will hopefully be out of here by then.

      I am asking one last request for this weekend. If anyone can contribute or lend us $100 so I can fill the fridge here,and get some cat food, that will get us through until check day. I apologize for infringing once again upon your good nature. We truly are grateful to all of you. I am going to push through and we have a lot of big procedures coming up. I’m going to get us through this. I’ll keep you updated, and once again, we appreciate you investing in this family I’m holding together. We treasure you all.

CASHAPP $BFN73

PAYPAL bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey

VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1

DM me for any questions. Anytime. Have a safe holiday weekend OPLIVE FAMILY!

Even if $5, $10 It’ll be used for good!

The screenshot above is one of many unfulfilled promises from the people we befriended. The people that proclaimed hundreds of times that “we are family now”

   It doesn’t hurt me now. I can’t afford to hurt for myself. I hurt for my wife. I hurt for my best friend. I hurt for the woman who is fighting for her life as hard as she can under the worst of circumstances. I hurt for her because someone it took her 3 months to trust took her hand,looked into her eyes and said “Karen,I’m not going to let you die. I’m not going to leave here without you guys,and I promise you have a family for life”  Karen believed we had a fresh new beginning in a home that wasn’t a hotel. A new chapter in our lives,not having to ask for help to survive. That dream was shattered. However, between me and all of you,we will build a new dream. One that doesn’t evolve into a nightmare. The absolute truth is that the people who mean the most to us are people we have never met. That is all of you. Thank you for giving hope where there wasn’t any to be found. 

    I apologize for the audio being scratchy at times and the background noise. Obviously in a hotel I can’t go into another room to record. Those minor issues will be fixed next time. Thank you for listening.

We treasure you OPL Family.

Brian

       For months now, you’ve heard every sordid detail of the fights we’re waging. I must live only within the day that I’m in. I can’t project ahead, because it’s too overwhelming and anxiety triggering to feel the stress of trying to save Karen’s life and to hope we’ll have a place to live.

      This is not how any of this was supposed to be. We shouldn’t have had to leave Karen’s home unless it was on her terms. We didn’t forsee that we wouldn’t receive enough proceeds from the house to get an actual apartment. We didn’t forsee having to languish on a waiting list for housing that our names may never come up on. We didn’t forsee having to sell our broken down car just to pay back rent on a hotel that costs $1,000 more monthly than our income is.

        We didn’t forsee how traumatic Dialysis would be on Karen’s body. We didn’t forsee that she’d be told that not only can she not get a kidney transplant until she has a liver transplant,but that we’d have to have a permanent place to live because “they can’t waste an organ on someone who’s considered homeless”

       We didn’t forsee many things. The one that hurts the most is we didn’t forsee having to ask for charity and financial help from the people we share the best times we have in life with,bonding over the love of a police show. As I have said over and over,it’s not in our character to ask for handouts. We worked 65+ years between the two of us.

       The hopeful parts we didn’t forsee are that we didn’t realize just how much support you’d all be willing to give. We didn’t realize just how much your prayers,thoughts,kind words,and donations could motivate me to believe that anything is possible. I didn’t know that I could push myself for 18 hours a day at times,being the best husband and caregiver and friend I can be. I know now that we may have given up without asking for your help. We will be forever grateful for that.

       That being said,I don’t know why these unforseen events keep occuring. I honestly don’t know at the moment what to do. Yes,Karen will have the stone removed in the next day or two,but will she be ok? Will it happen again? She still has to somehow also continue dialysis during all of this. She desperately needs the last surgery on her arm so the dialysis needle can go in there instead of her chest. That is now delayed as well. How much more does she have to endure? She looked at me last night and whispered “Papa Bear,Are we going to be OK?” For the first time in a long time,I didn’t have the conviction to say yes convincingly. It broke my heart.

      We are out of money to pay rent at the hotel. The agency that is getting us an apartment will not be able to get us out of here until the end of the month. This month will hopefully be the last that I have to keep the fundraiser alive. All I know at the moment that as strong as I’ve been,I couldn’t have gotten this far without all of you. I’m in tears as I write this because I am unfortunately overwhelmed with stress and uncertainty and anxiety. I can’t let my Karen Bear down. I can’t lose her,or our baby cats. I’m terribly worried about her and not knowing what will happen. So,I ask you once again, please can you help us until we can get through these next obstacles. I vow I will do everything in my power for us to win this fight. I can’t do it without you. Thank you again. I will update as events unfold.

    Since I can’t figure out how to post the review I had to leave the radiology place, take a moment to Google “Nuvance Radiology Westage Fishkill” Click on Reviews and mine will be the first one displayed. The process to discover the stone was borderline malpractice

CASHAPP $BFN73

PAYPAL bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey

VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1

or the GoFundMe on my profile page on X

As always thank you again,and yes,we will pay this forward someday. Even a loan will help.

Bless You.