Hello,OPL Family..Well, it’s Saturday Night, always a downish weekend without OPL,but we are trying to get through. Karen is tired, exhausted, fatigued, physically and mentally. I’m doing everything I know how to bring her spirits up. I’ve tried to remind her she went through surgery, she has an 8 inch incision in her arm,then has had 2 dialysis treatments in the space of 4 days. Unfortunately,there are exterior factors that are hindering the speed of our progress.
As I stated a couple of weeks ago,we picked out a place that we’d like to move into. People USA have indeed accepted us into their housing program. The place that we picked out will be a perfect apartment for us. The landlord,however,has not received the paperwork from the agency that he needs to allow us to sign the lease and move in. We’ve been told by the housing coordinator that HUD is involved in paying the first months rent and security. I was told on Tuesday the paperwork would be emailed to us (and the landlord) on Wednesday. Now I believe the government shutdown is affecting this somewhat. I am showing the text exchange I was involved in on Thursday with the housing coordinator. I can’t fathom having yet another delay,another letdown,another broken promise.
Now as the beginning of the month approaches, we see the news that we might not get the small amount of food stamps we receive. We refuse to spend another holiday season here. Karen has to get out of this environment. She’s not well, and I can’t allow this to happen. I will be physically getting a ride to their office Monday. I cannot accept anyone dragging their feet after they gave us all this hope,only for it to be delayed.
The season of hope is supposed to be approaching. Not hopelessness. The other issue is that there are months where Social Security recipients have to wait 5 weeks instead of 4 for their monthly check, because of the way the calendar falls. When these times happen,that fifth week is nothing short of HELL. There is never enough money to get through. Still having to borrow money to get through,but if I do,I’m paying it back. Once again,it’s living in a hotel that makes surviving on a fixed income impossible. However,hope is not lost,nor will it ever be. We are so grateful to all of you for all of your support, prayers,thoughts, friendship,and help. I’m fighting as hard as I can and I won’t stop. Karen goes to war to stay alive and her body is traumatized. Her heart isn’t,but sometimes even with all of the love in the world,she and I both live with a difficult villain…FEAR.
More updates soon. Hope you’re having a good weekend.
May God Bless the memory of Colton and Julie and family. He is an eternal angel.
CASHAPP $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 (There are 2 Karen Neareys look for the photo of Scootie)
Well,as exhausted as I am,I always feel the need to write. Without that,I’ll lose my mind. Over the last 8 years, I’ve been in these surgical waiting rooms so many times,and you’d think that I’d be used to how all of this goes. However,when they make me leave Karen’s side after I kiss her on the forehead and tell her I’ll see her soon,as soon as I get a few steps away that overwhelming wave of tears just immediately occurs,and I have to reign myself in.
I always wonder what is going through her mind and heart while she lays there waiting to go in. Since January 8,2025, this is the FIFTH surgery she has had. Has she told me everything she’s feeling? Is she hiding her fear as to not worry me? How can she be such a stoic and affable patient each time we have to enter a hospital? How can she have the fortitude to go through this a month after a giant bladder stone was removed from her? Am I helping her,or am I making her more nervous? There are dozens of these questions that infiltrate and circle around in my heart and my brain. No matter what, she always tells me she’ll be back to me soon,and thank God every single time she has been.
She’s not as strong as she once was,at least physically,and I see the signs of the psychological toll more noticeable now than ever. After this surgery,her arm will be in a sling once again. She’ll be going home this afternoon ,and then tomorrow,she unfortunately has to have her regularly scheduled dialysis. The surgeon wants to see her in a week. He says if all goes well, another week after that they’ll check it for approval to use for dialysis. In the meantime, trying to prepare to move into our permanent residence on the first. We can’t wait for this to be completed. Peace of mind is priceless. Being in that hotel doesn’t afford either one of us that luxury,only on Friday and Saturday Night between 9-12 do we actually feel most like ourselves. The show and spending time posting with you bring us abundant happiness. Unfortunately,the one portion of this program we’ve been accepted into involves HUD,as they pay the first months rent and security. Since the government is “closed”, there is a backup in HUD processing paperwork. I’ve been told “not to worry” ,but that’s just not an option for me right now.
Ok,so this surgery has been completed. He had to make a bigger incision than he wanted to,8 inches instead of 6. The stitches will dissolve themselves. We go for a followup to see him next week. The week after they’ll take an ultrasound to see if the Fistula is not only usable,but downright EASILY usable. Karen has undergone complication after complication as far as administration of the treatments. It shouldn’t be as difficult as it is. If the fistula is ultimately in the perfect place, possibly an easier treatment experience will help strengthen her. Like everything else in our lives,it’s literally day by day existing. The lung disease has to be investigated fully as soon as possible. This is,at the moment,the biggest unknown variable and obstacle preventing her placement on a double transplant list.
So many of you made us feel cared about and calm and provided us strength that we desperately need. We both only slept 2 hours last night. I still haven’t actually slept. I’m going to try that as soon as I’m done writing. It goes without saying that we couldn’t have gotten through this day without you. All of you are the most special,kind, compassionate,caring,and thoughtful people that exist on this planet. We are truly humbled by your caring. We don’t forget anyone who has reached out. I will get back to all of you individually in the coming days.
There is a test result from the pre surgical bloodwork that Karen has today that caused me alarm,and reinforced the seriousness of what Karen is facing. When she began dialysis in February,her EGFR (the percentage her kidneys are working) was 15. I did not expect to see that the current number is now 11. Why I believed it would stay the same is just plain ignorance on my part. Even on dialysis,her kidneys are failing more. This is something I will be speaking to her medical team about tomorrow. The lower the number,the less time we have,if she is indeed to be approved for the transplant list. I was told that the severity of her liver disease contributes to this decline. So,we are praying hard that the surgery will result in the fistula finally being operable. In the meantime, as much as I will never stop fighting and hang on to any shred of hope we have, there is an underlying fear within my heart and soul that will never cease. The odds are indeed against us. However,the value of life being a daily gift once we wake up will never be and hasn’t been more applicable than now.
So,while we navigate the coming days,we will be trying to mitigate Karen’s pain. I will be working on the logistics for moving,as well everything else I must do to keep us operating. Thank God for you,all of you. Karen, myself,and the cats couldn’t get through without you.
Yes,small needs are still present, but like I said last time, you’ll be reimbursed if you can help. Thank you again. Talk tomorrow.
Bless You All,
Brian and Karen
EGFR 10/22/25
CASHAPP $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 (make sure you send to the picture of Scootie,there are 2 people sams name)
It was a nice 2 nights of shows,wasn’t it? Unfortunately,it’s still not the same vibe we used to have. It’s difficult for me at least,to find all of you now that the OPL show page and the REELZ page doesn’t repost anything. It just baffles the mind why they made this decision. I hope we can find a way to stay together and seize back the great aspects of what used to be X on show nights.
Anyway, I’m here to talk about what I have to accomplish this week. I also have to tell you about a couple of difficult issues we’re facing. Karen is having what we hope will be the final surgery on her fistula in her arm. Dr. Elsagga will be operating on Wednesday morning at St. Luke’s Hospital on Dubois Street in Newburgh NY. This is about 40 minutes away from the hotel. Karen will have to stay at least overnight,as there is a large incision involved in this procedure. He will attempt as I’ve stated before, to lift the connection closer to her skin later. If this is ultimately successful,her dialysis treatments will be much easier on her physically and mentally. The catheter in her chest was supposed to be removed months ago. In a patient with all of her comorbidities, dialysis via this method can be downright dangerous. If her current well bring is any indication,this operation must be successful.
She is not tolerating treatments as well as she was in the beginning. Sometimes,when I tell people around the hotel that she is at dialysis,I believe people are under the impression that she’s off getting a manicure or something. It’s not their fault. If one doesn’t know how intense a dialysis treatment is, they couldn’t possibly understand the aftermath,both physical and mental,the patient is dealing with.
I stated a few weeks ago that I wasn’t going to depend on handouts anymore. The GoFundMe has been taken down. I know once we move we won’t need that much help,as it’ll hopefully be there for us. What I’ve discovered since then is that living in this environment on the $1,400 a month income we have is extremely tenuous. I’m not starting any other fundraisers. However,due to Karen’s surgery this week,and the end of the month approaching, we find ourselves with not enough funds to survive until the 3rd of the month. I will have transportation issues for myself to get home from the hospital and back there the next day. I would respectfully ask if anyone can LEND us about $200 dollars and we will gladly reimburse you on November 3 when we get paid. I am not ashamed to ask for this,as I’m not asking for a handout,I’m asking for a loan that we can and will pay back. This is important to me,so as I can focus on the rest of my duties preparing Karen for this hospital stay. If anyone can lend us even a few small amounts, I will pay you back on the morning of November 3. The adversity has not gone away yet. It is dissipating,and I’m working very hard to conquer it all. Most importantly, I’m giving my wife the best moments she can possibly have no matter how difficult anything is going. I’m going to let anything stand in the way of that.
Furthermore,I’ve decided to start a YouTube channel,to hopefully assist other full time caregivers when they need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to. I’m not expecting to be paid for it,but if someday it might succeed, then so be it. Many people are working on YouTube and even if I bring in the smallest amount of money, it’ll help our cause. I’m working on beginning this soon. In the meantime,I will be keeping you all informed about our journey. This surgery is important. Your thoughts and prayers are vital to our survival. We remain grateful to you all.
So, if any of you can loan us some funds to just nudge us through this week,rest assured it will be returned to you.
Cashapp $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 (send to the picture that has Scootie in the photo)
A week ago, I wrote about how much we’re looking forward to the opportunity for a new start in a new home. We wake up everyday with that in our heads. It is a motivating factor in everything we do. Unfortunately, Karen’s condition at any given moment dictates what occurs on a day by day basis.
As I listen to the recording I made of everything the Dr. Partiula discussed with us, I am trying to focus on the positive aspects. He did indeed say a place on the list is not guaranteed,at least until Karen’s lung disease diagnosis is investigated fully.
Karen was cleared for the surgery on Wednesday the 22nd that will hopefully and ultimately render the fistula usable. In the meantime, dialysis is taking a toll on her body. She is asleep more than she’s awake. When she arrives back at the hotel after a treatment,she looks extremely drained and pale.
It takes all of my inner strength to put on a brave and positive face when I witness her discomfort daily. She doesn’t bounce back as much as she used to in the beginning of her dialysis journey.
There is a reality that I have to face. Karen is going to get an oxygen tank, portable for now. Her pulse ox and BP drops after taking just a few steps. This is discouraging to me,but I have to accept it. The problem is, I am looking too far ahead,as I am starting to believe that the transplant team might say no. At the moment,I just have to get her through the next surgery on Wednesday. Then we will proceed from there.
I’m not writing any of this to throw a pity party. I gladly care for Karen 24/7 and will continue to. I do, However,hear an imaginary clock in my head that refuses to stop ticking. That’s the fight I try to win every night I go to sleep,and everyday I wake up.
I know we’re close,very close to a new beginning. However,were having some small but stressful issues that I need to solve quickly. I am asking that those of you who know who I am and what we’re trying to accomplish to please DM me on X in the morning or afternoon Saturday. I would appreciate it immensely. Thank you all for riding out this rollercoaster with us. We wouldn’t have gotten this far without you,and are eternally grateful for you all.
Hello, friends,OPL Family. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. I would like to start out by talking about a subject that’s been on all of our minds lately. Our favorite show has seemingly decided to abandon their usual X reposts to their page and the Reelz page. While yes, I understand that we can still connect with one another through hashtags, the vibe is different,and quite frankly,a little depressing.
It is much easier to see everyone through the OPL and Reelz page reposts. I know we miss everyone’s snacks, dinners,pets,watch parties,birthdays, anniversaries, Viewers Of The Night,etc.. All of those reposts is what created this extended family we’ve all shared and enjoyed since the first iteration of the show several years ago. It adds a fun layer to all of the action we do look forward to. While I acknowledge that we are living in a very automated world, the human connection that we share through our mutual admiration of the show and the officers we love cannot be undervalued. I have written an email to Reelz to question them as to why this decision has been made. I don’t believe I will get an answer anytime soon. I believe if we band together and keep inquiring,maybe it will be restored. The show experience is just not the same without it.
On that note,I know everyone is wondering how Karen is doing,and how our apartment hunting is progressing. Well, there are a multitude of aspects to cover.
We have picked out a place we’d like to live in. We were hoping to be out by the 15th. However,as is the case with many situations like this,the logistics of the entire move just cannot mesh together in time,but we are guaranteed November 1st Occupancy. It will be the most monumental event to be in a permanent residence in time for the holidays. We refuse to spend another Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year in this hotel. We deserve better. I don’t want to relive the emotional gauntlet we felt last year during that time. It was only thanks to you in the OPL Family that we didn’t feel so lonely and disconsolate. Without giving specifics until we’re actively inside the apartment, we found a cozy 1 bedroom apartment in a multi family home in a quiet neighborhood. It’s just the right amount of space and we will be able to cook real meals and live a happy life. A place to call home is priceless. We are looking forward to this new beginning.
Karen and I continue to battle her multiple illnesses on a daily basis. The one thing that’s been a constant that I’ve had to learn and relearn is that a dialysis patients life is unpredictable and no matter how much one prepares for any scenario, Karen’s state of mind and body can change quickly. Sometimes from hour to hour. Karen has recovered from her bladder stone surgery. The two major events that have occurred since then are the 2nd liver transplant consult at Westchester Medical Center,and the preparations for Karen’s 4th fistula repair surgery on October 22. I’ve written about what will occur before. Karen will definitely be in overnight because this time they have to make a large incision in her bicep area. I know she’s in great hands. This hospital St Luke’s/Montefiore in Cornwall NY,and the vascular surgeon,Dr. Elsagga are top of the line in regards to care. The goal is to finally be able to remove the chest catheter Karen has had in since February when she began dialysis.
As far as the transplants are concerned, there is one obstacle in the way before Karen can be placed on any list.
We visited Westchester Medical Center Transplantation Department once again on October 6. We met with the liver transplant surgeon, Dr. Partiula. (his photo on bottom) He explained that after examining Karen’s labs and MRI, that a number called a MELD score was calculated. This score is only for people who have Cirrhosis. The range for this score goes from 5-40, with 40 being the worst. When a patient hits 25, it’s time to begin to attempt to get on the list. Karen is exactly at 25. His reasoning now is that he believes Karen should have a dual transplant, in the same hospital stay but not at the exact moment. He believes her kidney is the priority, but he doesn’t think a new kidney paired with her current liver would be viable. However, he wants us to have Karen’s pulmonary diagnosis, Interstitial lung disease,to be further investigated before she’s clear to go on any list. He also has to confer with Dr. Mustaffa, (also pictured below) to discuss his beliefs that I stated above,and depending on what Karen’s lung issues state,they will confer and go from there. Nothing is guaranteed yet,nor will it be. However,we didn’t leave there with an absolute no or yes. There are no absolutes in a complicated case like Karen’s. That is something I’ve had to make peace with,that’s something we both have to make peace with. I took time to write because I needed to try and navigate and reconcile these issues without dumping the desperation of my sometimes intense emotions on our OPL Family. I didn’t want to write anything from a place of weakness. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy to just not jump on here and type out when I feel distraught,worried, overwhelmed,etc…However,I’m trying to solve our problems without infringing on anyone else’s life. I believe I’m off to a good start. As long as there is hope, I will never, ever give up.
Karen is a warrior and a trooper and has more strength than she even knows,but I see that the dialysis is becoming more difficult. After walking a few steps,her pulse ox temporarily drops as does her BP, this occurs mostly during dialysis,but at times here as well. It’s day by day. I’m doing everything I can to keep her as happy and healthy as she can be. There are many unknowns. I am focusing on what I do know. I know that I’m responsible for my effort to keep her the happiest and healthiest she can be in the EXACT MOMENT SHE IS IN. I am making that effort. I am proud of myself, I’m grateful for the opportunity that moving will bring to us. I’m looking forward to solving the issues that can get in the way. I’m also trying to control my emotions, and am glad I know you care. We are thankful beyond all words for your thoughts and prayers. I promise I’ll update when I can. We are extremely busy trying to transition to the next step. I’m only a DM away if you want to reach out. However,we think of all of you everyday,and are beyond grateful for all the support you’ve given. Stay in touch!
And yes, although the official fundraiser has been taken down,we will struggle for awhile financially,as it is extremely difficult to survive on what we receive monthly..
Cashapp $BFN73
PAYPAL bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 (BUT PLEASE SEND TO THE Karen Nearey with the picture of Scootie on the profile)
It’s been an emotional rollercoaster of a week,but then again not many weeks haven’t been. When those two caseworkers told us “You can start looking for apartments in Ulster County now” I honestly thought I was dreaming. I don’t think Karen fully grasped the statement at first. How could I blame her? So many things have been promised, suggested,teased,or outright taken from her. However,when they walked out the door,we fell into a gigantic embrace and cried together. We kept whispering to each other “Is this true?” “Did this actually just happen?” We kept having to tell each other it did. We each grabbed a kitty and hugged them (one against his will 😂)and told them. “we’re getting a home,boys!”
Yes,the battle is going to continue to keep Karen alive no matter where we are. However, I know her mindset will be so much more positive when we have an actual address. We’ve talked every night even before we knew we had to move from the old house about what our hopes were for the future. Our dream was to only have a small, possibly bungalow type place, that’s clean,cozy,comfy,and we can call “Our Bear Family Cottage” Nothing fancy needed. Just to feel safe and peaceful,to feel like home.
For those of you that might not have had a chance to read from the beginning, I want to tell you exactly how we THOUGHT things would go after we were forced to move last August.
We NEVER imagined that it would take over a year to even have the opportunity to find a permanent residence.We believed that we were going to recieve the little 33 percent proceeds from the house sale in one lump sum. We figured we could maybe find a mobile home and either rent (in which case since we don’t have credit we’d offer to pay the first year rent in advance) and try to get an agency to help us during that time.
When we discovered we would only get the proceeds in dribs and drabs,the only option was this hotel. It was close to all of Karen’s doctors,and since we filled out almost a dozen housing applications in August of 24, we thought for sure given Karen’s illnesses we would be able to obtain at least one of the options we applied for. Everyday we called every agency that is supposed to help disabled people with low income, eventually getting in contact with every service agency in the entire Hudson Valley. We constantly told “Be patient,the waiting lists are long” or “there are housing shortages” Then Karen started dialysis,and that’s when we started to realize that the money was running out,and fast. Almost $600 a week to stay here and the weeks seemed to move by faster and faster.
Then what seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime popped up presented to us by a family of people who were so involved in our daily lives that we believed we could trust them. One of them actually works in the hospital where Karen has gone for the transplant consults. We could’ve centralized all of her care in Westchester 10 minutes away from the hospital. Then,with the last $2,000 of the proceeds in their hands,that was supposed to be half going to the apartment we were to live in downstairs from them,they took off August 2, promising they’d come back in 2 weeks and promising they’d pay us back. Well,they didn’t,and at some point I will get justice for that,but that was close to being a death knell.
Since August 2,I have been in a state of sheer panic,trying to keep that smile on my face and positivity so Karen wouldn’t give up. Going to bed some nights not knowing if we’d be out in the street. So many of you stepped up and made that burden lighter,and kept us alive and fed. Yes,I made desperate pleas for money,but only because I didn’t have anyone else to turn to,wishing that phone call would finally come where they’d tell us our turn was here. In between all of that stress, Karen’s infection and bladder stone for 2 months. Selling the car for junk $. Watching everything you hoped would happen and planned for disappearing in front of your eyes. Wanting to give up. Hating myself for not being able to do more. Each and every time,one or all of you were there to pick us up. It kept me going, because if you weren’t giving up on us,I wouldn’t either.
So here we are. 14 months later. Now it’s time for us to continue to fight for Karen’s life. However,we have tools now. Moving will be the biggest relief. We are going to stand on our own. It is with that spirit that I am telling you no more fundraising efforts will be made after Friday morning. We have nothing until Friday at 1 AM. I have to pay the rent Sunday one last time. We need to survive 6 more days. We only need a couple of hundred dollars to get to that point. After that,our solemn vow is that all the currency we want or need is your prayers. We are going to move forward,and once we can,will also pay everything you did for us forward. We never wanted any of this to drag on this long. However, I’m feeling empowered now. I know we will do this. Karen is having her fourth surgery on her arm October 22. We will find out about her liver transplant status in about 10 days. We have a realtor assisting us in finding a home. We’re ready to go.
I will not stop blogging our journey. Just so I have an outlet,and if anyone needs help as a caregiver and can get any help from our journey, that’s all I care about. We love you OPL FAMILY .
And for the FINAL TIME EVER I’m writing the pay platforms here. I ask if you can to just help us survive the next 6 days…Bless you and thank you
CASHAPP $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM OR BRIAN NEAREY
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 (BUT PLEASE LOOK FOR THE PICTURE OF KAREN AND SCOOTIE THERE ARE 2 KAREN NEAREYS)
There will be more stories to write,and I hope you read them. We treasure you all. Thank you for going on this journey with us.
Brian
hectic schedule before next surgery Above Karen having the ultrasound today
I’ve been wanting to write since yesterday,but we’ve been extremely busy,and running on fumes,but for once,hopeful fumes.
I’m going to continue this blog for perpetuity. My hope is that others who are caregivers fighting and waiting for resources for their loved ones and themselves can obtain some sense of how there are times when the journey can be filled with unexpected obstacles and unforseen circumstances. It’s always going to be an essential part of my life to diary the events of the fight to save Karen’s life.
Anyway,this is going to be two parts because there are major events unfolding at the moment. The best and most hopeful of these are that 2 days ago,on Wednesday,two caseworkers from an agency we contacted months ago, People USA, arrived here at the hotel to have Karen and I sign papers and release forms,one of them being a contract that accepts us formally into their assisted housing program. I’m posting the letter here. We are allowed to start searching for an apartment in Ulster county, NY,about 45 minutes away from here, across the Hudson River. We can have a realtor assist as well. This is an amazing development and couldn’t come at a better time. Once we secure a place,they will assist us in moving, help with any furniture and household items we may need, and ensure we have the peace of mind of a regular roof over our head. The rent will be 30 percent of Karen’s SSD check,but that will also cover utilities. This program is strictly for people who have serious illnesses like Karen does.
We consider ourselves lucky. The housing applications we filled out to live in our county would possibly take 3 years to come to fruition. We were told on Wednesday that there are people waiting in shelters all over the state for an apartment to come through. Many landlords don’t want social services clients in their apartments. That’s their right. However, even if we’re met with resistance,the people at this agency will intervene if necessary to facilitate the rental.
We also on Wednesday traveled to Westchester Medical Center Radiology for Karen’s Liver Transplant Clearance MRI. We will be meeting with their team again in about 2 weeks to find out if she’ll be indeed placed on the list. We don’t know if they’ll say yes,it’s a tribunal of professionals that make that decision. I’ll write more details on that in the next part.
This afternoon, we are traveling to St Luke’s Cornwall Hospital in Newburgh NY to see Karen’s vascular surgeon to have an ultrasound to determine the severity of the injury she suffered at dialysis last Tuesday. It does indeed look worse,not better. The results of that I’ll write and post as it happens today. You’ll see the photo of her arm here.
The aspect i hope everyone will understand is that we are grateful for everything that you’ve done to show your care for us. Karen and I know we couldn’t have gotten here to this point without your help. Spiritually,supportively,and yes, financially. It is with that statement that I announce that all fundraising efforts cease on the first of this month.
We never wanted to ask for anything in the first place. If you’ve read every blog post or listened when I recorded a couple,you’ll know that some situations were just beyond the scope of anything I could fix myself in the moment. Since August, we’ve had to pay almost 600 a week to stay here with only 1,400 a month income. That just doesn’t compute. The fear of not being able to know if we’d get thrown in the street or be able to feed us would consume me, and cause me to indeed be desperate. I had always hoped that I could’ve exposed the GOFUNDME to other communities of people besides OPL Family. When you don’t have any other family, it’s a difficult endeavor. I will always regret having to ask for as long as we did. However,I will pay it forward. I do indeed have a very sensitive heart,but inside it is the spirit of a lion. I refuse to lose. I have been down, depressed,scared,angry,self hating when plans didn’t work out,or other adverse events took place. I expressed it here because I knew you cared. I’ll never forget that.
That’s it for part 1. You’ll see part 2 tomorrow. As far as asking for help, we just have to survive until Thursday night/Friday morning at 1AM,when we get paid. After that, we are standing on our own,no matter what. I’ll discuss that in more detail later as well. Please wish us well with the vascular surgeon. Talk to you later,thank you for everything.
Brian
Karen at the Liver MRI dressing room looking like she joined a church choir lol
Hello,OPL Family..It took me one sleepless night and about 12 more hours after that to decide what I wanted to say in this post. Eventually,the heart that you know I wear on my sleeve just decided to type.
Not that you might not have noticed by now,but I never,ever hold back what’s inside of my heart and soul. My emotions pour out of me. Why am I and have always been that way? The one thing I can say is that I’ve been that way since I was forced to carry myself like an adult since around 1981,when I was 8. I had to be on point in my household growing up,most especially when my father was away at sea at work. Some of you know about some of my childhood. Most of you don’t. Things could get out of hand at times,and I had to make sure that everything looked normal or as close to normal as it could be. I protected my mother,I had to ensure that the house was clean,the dishes were done,the laundry was clean,and the food was on the table. Not everyday,mind you,but when I turned 12, then it was everyday when my Dad was at work.
Growing up,I had a difficult time understanding why people weren’t as sensitive or compassionate as me. I got along better with older people than kids my own age. The sordid details of my childhood are neither here nor there,but I reacted to adverse events in my life by trying to make things better. Demonstrating how much I care. Sensitivity came natural to me. I didn’t get angry because I didn’t like anger. I didn’t hide my emotions because I didn’t know how. When someone was hurt or angry,I always wanted to know why,and how I could fix it.
You’ll read someday in my book the details of those days. Right now I just want to point out two main facts about me that describe who I am…That even though my mother hurt me,she was the one person who understood me. She couldn’t express love unless a bottle of Seagram’s 7 was involved. One night she told me “You’re going to have problems in life,Brian, because you have too big of a heart” She was absolutely right. For years after I watched her take her last breath in 1997 at 52 years old,that statement was a self fulfilling prophecy that made me a fool that did for all,but not for himself.
When I finally did discover that I had to achieve a balance, I had to re learn that I can wear my heart on my sleeve,but not in an unhealthy way. I forgave my mother because she has extreme anxiety that stemmed from her childhood that was much worse than the life she gave me. Then I finally could start loving myself. That’s when I found Karen. She taught me that I deserved love,and be proud of who I am.
Now what the hell does any of this have to do with anything? I’ve shared every sordid detail of the hardships we’ve endured and how I’m trying to save Karen not just because we need help. The way I write,the way I fight for her,the love I have for her,and when our backs are against the wall,I have raw emotion and I let it out. Whether or not anyone believes it is not something I can control. Everytime I ask for your help, it’s because I’ve already exhausted every other option to NOT ask you. I panic sometimes when planned solutions to our problems are delayed. I have prefaced each and every request with the fact that each time I write the words “Can you please help us?”that it does indeed make my stomach churn constantly. Karen and I worked from 13 years old until she couldn’t work anymore at 49 years old in 2015. Her diabetes,that at that point she had for ten years,had began to sprout residual conditions that made it impossible for her to do her job. Towards the end of her working days,she would clock in,and 4 hours later she’d get extremely fatigued and lightheaded. Her sugar spiked to numbers that were downright dangerous. For 2 years after that I was working my job,until one day I came home to her being extremely sick. She was shaking,weak,and could barely talk. Her sugar monitor said 815.I called 911 and she was diagnosed with ketoacidosis and almost passed away. She was not able to manage her meds by herself and short term memory loss made her lose track of her dosages. I knew then no matter what the cost,I had to shift my work to trying to get her healthy.
The rest you know from reading the blog,whether anyone chooses to believe it or not is their business. One thing I learned yesterday is that some people have gone and complained to others about my asking for money for us to survive. I wish you would’ve just told me. As ashamed as I am for asking for donations, I’m not ashamed to ask people I think are a community of extended family that I need help to keep a woman who never hurt anyone in her life alive. My motives are true. There are criminals who start Go Fund Me’s and raise $100,000 in 3 days. My wife and I have had ours up for a year and are grateful for every penny of the $6,000 we received and more that we received privately. We never ask for or want more than we need. Until we get into the apartment we have been promised, Karen’s check will be spent in 48 hours. $1,400 a month in a $2,000 + room doesn’t compute. Yes,I’ve been desperate lately because I’m upset that I have to constantly humble myself to ask for money. I’ve borrowed money from people and I’ve paid back the people that need it back. We don’t take your money and order pizza and drink alcohol and waste funds. I plan out the meals Karen needs to survive for her many special dietary needs. We don’t have a car. Transportation is free for doctor appointments. Not to go get medicine. We don’t go out and we don’t even buy clothes. There are no luxury items here,nor do we want any. All I’m saying here is if you doubt anything about my wife’s Illnesses and my efforts to save her life,just ask me. You can access anything you want. We will sign releases.Also, if you want to judge me,just judge me. Don’t read my posts. Tell me off. Do what you want to do. However,i would sincerely appreciate it if you don’t complain to people I don’t even know that I ask for too much. Have the courage to tell ME like it took me courage to ask you in the first place. I hope you have a good weekend and hopefully we can enjoy OPL together. The way it should be. Karen was injured at dialysis Tuesday. I showed you the photos and videos. I have to take her for an ultrasound tomorrow because she’s in pain due to what is most likely a punctured vein. I only asked them umpteenth times not to try to use the Fistula until the 4th surgery is done. They forced it again,and I’m done with them hurting her.
Finally,I still love our OPLIVE Family. If you are going to give, please don’t judge us simultaneously. Thank you.
CASHAPP $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM OR BRIAN NEAREY
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1 but please look for the picture with her and Scootie there is another Karen Nearey on there.
It’s 520 AM…I haven’t been to sleep yet. This week we have Karen’s endocrinologist today at 2 PM, because dialysis wants their opinion as her diabetes doctor as to her spiking sugars. On Wednesday we are visiting the pulmonologist,due to the Interstitial lung disease,and if Karen should have oxygen. The problem persists with her pulse ox going down after a few steps,then going back up when at rest.
On September 25 we go to the Transplant hospital again for the MRI on her liver. Like I said previously, this is the most critical point. We will hopefully have an answer then as to where we are going.
When we got Karen’s SSD check on her debit card,a few days later we found out about an unauthorized charge for $19.90 from a company we didn’t know. We cancelled the account and are waiting for a new card. However, there’s not much left on it anyway.
Truth be told, raw and honest truth..I’m fighting with a smile on my face but the cracks are starting to show. Before we cancelled the account,we had to pay almost $1,100 for 2 weeks rent here,the storage and phone bill. We honestly thought we’d be out of here by now. The agency will be calling us Thursday to tell us our options. The intake interview was completed. It has to happen. We have to be out of here by the end of the month. As of this coming week,we have no money to pay the rent. That is not the main focus. Karen has to get on the transplant list,and soon. She’s sleeping so much,and the fatigue after a few steps are signs that she might be becoming hypoxemic. That means the clock is ticking fast.
This is the last month we are keeping up the fundraiser,if we get settled soon it’s over. Right now,we have no money for things we desperately have to have money for. The food I have to feed Karen is expensive and I have to keep her as healthy as possible. Transportation money. Just day to day expenses and I need to be able to give the hotel one more week of rent in a few days. I’m fighting it all, and didn’t want to ask for money and I’m exhausted from worrying about judgement for asking for money.
I hate that it has to be a necessary aspect to support us. I just wish all I had to ask for is prayers and your friendship. I haven’t even asked a few times last month when we got scammed. I cashed in cans to eat.
This wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m pushing my fear aside and just flat out asking to help us one last push to the goal.I promise you’re investing in a family that needs it,uses it to fuel the fight to save Karen’s life. Now more than ever, please…
UPDATE 9/16 345 AM
Please,we have a critical situation that requires $150.00 today if anyone can please send whatever you can to the platforms below,we can give it back to you on the 3rd if you need it..You all know us, we’re not going anywhere and as I have stated multiple times I don’t like doing this. I’ll write the specifics as to why later but I promise you it’s of extreme importance..Please, I hate to ask but now I’m forced to beg…. Anything you can spare we will be as always grateful. I need to sleep and I can’t worrying all night.
UPDATE 9/17 200 AM
Watching over Karen, trying to stay calm. I honestly thought we weren’t going to make it through tonight. First,a nice person tried to send us a little money but they accidentally sent it to the wrong person. There’s no recourse either. We are going to the hospital tomorrow no matter what. We are at such a critical point,and need help now. Please,no amount is too small. Every penny counts..You know how I feel asking for it, and it’s going to end soon. I just have to get us to the next step. Most importantly,I have to keep Karen alive. She’s very scared. Thank you all again.
Thank you all again,
Brian
CASHAPP $BFN73
PayPal bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1
I’m sorry but you are our only family. We have nobody else to ask. Thank you so much.
Happy Saturday OPL Family. As usual, I’m having trouble sleeping. Tonight,on X the vibe and the mood felt a lot more somber and not as lighthearted as it usually is. I could see that when there weren’t any posts on OPL’s X Page of food or pets, it was definitely a feeling of a pall cast over us, undoubtedly due to the horrific circumstances we have witnessed the last few days.
I don’t have words that can express how much I wish that we could live in America as it was meant to be. Enjoying our freedom,taking the opportunities that living in a free country affords us and achieving monumental things,for ourselves and for others. Honoring our ancestors that fought for the rights we have,celebrating the beyond brave people that protect us day in and day out.
I can’t and will never understand why these things occur. I do know that I can’t let it change the heart I was born with,and I won’t. I will always have a giving heart,that will care for those I love,and try to be a better man than the day before. I will never stop believing that the good will outnumber the evil,and we will triumph. We all just want to have a happy and peaceful life. There’s no reason why we still can’t achieve that.
Anyway, yes,while Karen had a positive outcome with the surgery,we are immediately going to the next chapter. Karen’s next surgery on her arm. The fistula has to be corrected once and for all. If it isn’t,we will have an extremely precarious situation. As long as she has the chest catheter, there is a chance of infection and more trauma.
Then the transplant MRI September 25. After that is completed, we have to know where we’re going or she will not be placed on the list. I’m working overtime to facilitate that.
Right now,it’s no secret. Not only did we have to cancel the account that Karen’s SSD $ comes to (Direct Express card) due to a fraudulent charge from a company we didn’t know,we had to pay two weeks rent with her check. Add in storage and phone bills and that’s the sum total of the check. We have to do this to not get thrown out. $1,400 monthly is just not enough.
Literally feeding us day by day. I’m not complaining, but we need just a few donations to get through the month, please. We are close to our goal to get an apartment. We will get big news Thursday (we hope)…
In the meantime, please no amount is too small,help me keep us together and fed, and maybe just it’ll help me sleep a few nights.
Thank you OPL FAMILY. We cherish you.
CASHAPP $BFN73
PAYPAL BN11473@GMAIL.COM or Brian Nearey
VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1
Please help if you can. We can’t get through without you.
Our Fight For Survival 