I’ve always wanted to be a broadcaster,since I was a little boy in a household where I had to be an adult at an early age. When things would get crazy in my household,my transistor radio was my best friend. This would be especially true at night. Hearing people’s voices helped me fall asleep. Hearing people talk and not yell calmed me down. I also learned a lot from the people behind those voices. From that point on,realizing what a powerful influence they were on my life,my dream was to become a voice to possibly help anyone feeling the way I did at that time. This video is going to be the first in what I hope will become a safe place for caregivers to find comfort sharing their experiences when they need solace. It’s also another outlet to tell the story of our journey,that evolves and changes, sometimes by the hour.
Still waiting and fighting the powers that be. Karen is finishing dialysis right now and is exhausted,and not feeling well. A week from Today is Thanksgiving. It’s also Karen’s birthday,and I just hope we can even get to that day. Life is a fight for all of us right now. Thanks to you, I never surrender,and never will. We are and will be forever thankful for you,family.
In the meantime,the next steps here are getting Karen’s MRI on her lungs. When I first saw the words “groundglass opacities” in her lung cat scan,to the layperson’s mind,I translated that as “particles” groundglass sounds like tiny bits of glass looking substances no? So I automatically thought that meant it came from the defective CPAP machine Karen had that was part of the Philips Recall a few years ago. The pulmonologist said “That’s indeed possible,but I can’t sign off on that” so because of that we were dropped from the class action suit against the company. Why? After 3 years of non communication by them and unreturned phone calls,when we sent in the pulmonologist’s report,they said “you didn’t demonstrate injury in time” which was outlandish.
The MRI is not for any legal case,but It’s a condition to get Karen on the transplant list. It depends on the severity of her condition whether or not she meets the MEDICAL criteria to be placed on the list. I can’t offer an opinion right now on if I think she’ll pass this test. The way she’s been feeling lately, as strong as I want my faith to be, I might have to say she won’t. There has to be a reason why her pulse ox and Blood pressure drops so profusely after only a few steps. She never smoked any cigarette of ANY kind in her life. I believe it’s just the totality of her other conditions that is weakening her further. As always,if I project and worry (which I do anyway) it’ll take away from my faith. I’ve really had to learn to live day by day. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Growing up as a child who became an early adult,not knowing what was going to happen next created that need to want to know what lies ahead,in an effort to control what is uncontrollable. That’s no way to live. Anxiety itself is no lifestyle to live. I can sometimes feel it eroding my energy level sometimes. I fight it with trying to feel empowered. When I help my wife and she’s happy because of it,that’s empowering. If I can give a friend an ear and offer advice they appreciate,that’s empowering. Knowing that on Friday and Saturday night you’ll all be out there somewhere watching our favorite show with us,that’s empowering. It’s also all the reasons I never will give up.
So,as another weekend approaches,I want you to know once again I’m thankful for all of you,and so is Karen. I hope I can give her the best Thanksgiving and Birthday I possibly can next week. We will celebrate for show purposes this weekend. I just wish Reelz didn’t change the way we engaged with one another. It doesn’t matter,we’ll be there. Please DM me if you want to ask anything or talk. We treasure you guys. Hope you like the video.
Brian
Our Fight For Survival 
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