I Don’t Know What To Do

       For months now, you’ve heard every sordid detail of the fights we’re waging. I must live only within the day that I’m in. I can’t project ahead, because it’s too overwhelming and anxiety triggering to feel the stress of trying to save Karen’s life and to hope we’ll have a place to live.

      This is not how any of this was supposed to be. We shouldn’t have had to leave Karen’s home unless it was on her terms. We didn’t forsee that we wouldn’t receive enough proceeds from the house to get an actual apartment. We didn’t forsee having to languish on a waiting list for housing that our names may never come up on. We didn’t forsee having to sell our broken down car just to pay back rent on a hotel that costs $1,000 more monthly than our income is.

        We didn’t forsee how traumatic Dialysis would be on Karen’s body. We didn’t forsee that she’d be told that not only can she not get a kidney transplant until she has a liver transplant,but that we’d have to have a permanent place to live because “they can’t waste an organ on someone who’s considered homeless”

       We didn’t forsee many things. The one that hurts the most is we didn’t forsee having to ask for charity and financial help from the people we share the best times we have in life with,bonding over the love of a police show. As I have said over and over,it’s not in our character to ask for handouts. We worked 65+ years between the two of us.

       The hopeful parts we didn’t forsee are that we didn’t realize just how much support you’d all be willing to give. We didn’t realize just how much your prayers,thoughts,kind words,and donations could motivate me to believe that anything is possible. I didn’t know that I could push myself for 18 hours a day at times,being the best husband and caregiver and friend I can be. I know now that we may have given up without asking for your help. We will be forever grateful for that.

       That being said,I don’t know why these unforseen events keep occuring. I honestly don’t know at the moment what to do. Yes,Karen will have the stone removed in the next day or two,but will she be ok? Will it happen again? She still has to somehow also continue dialysis during all of this. She desperately needs the last surgery on her arm so the dialysis needle can go in there instead of her chest. That is now delayed as well. How much more does she have to endure? She looked at me last night and whispered “Papa Bear,Are we going to be OK?” For the first time in a long time,I didn’t have the conviction to say yes convincingly. It broke my heart.

      We are out of money to pay rent at the hotel. The agency that is getting us an apartment will not be able to get us out of here until the end of the month. This month will hopefully be the last that I have to keep the fundraiser alive. All I know at the moment that as strong as I’ve been,I couldn’t have gotten this far without all of you. I’m in tears as I write this because I am unfortunately overwhelmed with stress and uncertainty and anxiety. I can’t let my Karen Bear down. I can’t lose her,or our baby cats. I’m terribly worried about her and not knowing what will happen. So,I ask you once again, please can you help us until we can get through these next obstacles. I vow I will do everything in my power for us to win this fight. I can’t do it without you. Thank you again. I will update as events unfold.

    Since I can’t figure out how to post the review I had to leave the radiology place, take a moment to Google “Nuvance Radiology Westage Fishkill” Click on Reviews and mine will be the first one displayed. The process to discover the stone was borderline malpractice

CASHAPP $BFN73

PAYPAL bn11473@gmail.com or Brian Nearey

VENMO KAREN-NEAREY-1

or the GoFundMe on my profile page on X

As always thank you again,and yes,we will pay this forward someday. Even a loan will help.

Bless You.