The answer to that question is a big,fat NO. One of Karen’s siblings completely estranged herself from both parents and Karen. To this very day,no reasons were given or provided. This sibling didn’t even attend either of her parents funeral services. No cards on birthdays or holidays. However,this sibling does have a relationship with Karen’s other sibling. That sibling doesn’t offer any opinion on any of the matters stated above. This obviously made for an extremely awkward,hollow,and surface relationship with Karen.
I might be biased,but Karen’s heart and soul doesn’t possess any of the character traits displayed by the other siblings. Karen is gentle,caring, sensitive, compassionate,and would give you the shirt off her back if anyone needed help. Karen, although extremely hurt by the way her siblings distanced themselves from her and her Mom,never held a grudge nor expressed any anger towards them. She was and still is confused, brokenhearted,and scared of being abandoned by friends due to these past events.
So Karen continued to work full time at her unfulfilling retail job during the day,and came home each and every night to her Mom well into her 40’s. She didn’t have much of a social life. She was taken for granted and taken advantage of by both romantic partners and friends. She dutifully took care of her Mom and the house, without fail. Thankfully,she was able to work out her hurt with her Dad, because she still was in pain due to the divorce all those years ago. The bottom line is Karen sacrificed her dreams in order to care for her mother.
We married in 2013. (I’m saving the story of how we met for the book I want to finish) A month after we married,my father died in Florida of COPD from 9/11. 6 months after my Dad passed,it was the night before Thanksgiving. I was at work.Karen had gone home to start getting holiday dinner prepped. When she opened the door of the house,she noticed her Mother’s bedroom door was closed,which was highly unusual for that time of day. Karen knocked on the door and she didn’t get any response. She called me hysterically crying,after calling 911. She was terrified. By the time I got there,the police had broken down the bedroom door. Karen’s beloved Mom had passed away.
They said it was heart failure. Karen was so angry at herself for no reason. She had taken Mom to every doctor appointment.Her Mom was just never emotionally right after the divorce. She was unable to display any loving, nurturing behavior to Karen because she was broken inside. Karen did everything she possibly could to encourage her to care more for herself. Sadly,the last years of her life were spent as a recluse. Other than the doctor,she didn’t do anything except lay in bed and watch TV. It was difficult for Karen to handle,but she never stopped trying.
After her Mom’s death,her relationships with her siblings remained the same. With one sibling, occasionally phone calls,once in a great while a visit,cards on holidays,but not anything deep or meaningful. Karen and I were working,and living in her childhood home.In 2014, Her Dad came up from Florida to help us put new appliances in the kitchen and new facilities in the bathroom. My Father in Law was as sweet and generous of a man as Karen is a wonderful woman. However, Karen’s health began a slow downward turn at the beginning of 2015. She was diagnosed with diabetes in 2005. This was a genetic issue as her Dad and multiple relatives on her Dad’s side had the same illness. Despite sticking to a strict diet and medication protocol,she began to feel weaker at work. She began to have to leave early from work,her blood sugar spiking seemingly out of nowhere to numbers in the 400’s. Her insurance at Walmart was expensive,almost $200 every bi monthly paycheck. $400 a month and her care team choices were limited to a small network of physicians. She also had copays and prescription costs as well. We believed we had every tool at our disposal to manage her disease properly.
In the Fall of 2015,Karen made her usual duty change from cashier and sponsor of new employees to the person in charge of Holiday Layaway. This was a job she performed with much skill and pride. She enjoyed helping parents get gifts for their children and making accommodations for those who didn’t have as many resources as others. However,the stress of that holiday season took its toll on her health. The harder she worked,the worse her condition became. More testing proved she was extremely anemic,and also developed thyroid and digestion issues. As much as she despised the idea,she had to make the choice to stop working after 25+ years of faithful employment.
We were advised by doctors that Karen should apply for Social Security Disability,which we retained an attorney to do. However,the attorney didn’t perform his duties with due diligence,and because of this,she was denied the first time. Then, that lawyer went out of business,forcing us to start the entire process again with a new attorney.
I was working full time in a management position when Karen first became disabled. I was able to put her on my health insurance,which was also extremely expensive. I noticed over the period between 2015 and 2017 that Karen was struggling with the frustration of the decline of her health. Her anemia wouldn’t allow her to do the things she loved doing. Her depression also increased,and she finally was diagnosed officially with Dysthymic depression. This is an inability to cope with past loss and trauma. I knew she needed me to care for her full time. With great reluctance and fear,I left the workforce that I had been a part of one way or another since 1986,when I was 13.
We were hoping that her disability application would come through. As every month went by with no answer,we were forced to sell anything we had of value to survive. Yard sales,cashing out 401K’s,things that we never thought we’d have to do so early into our marriage. Our credit vanished.We didn’t have a car. We were forced to go to Social Services to ask for assistance. Before we were approved for this, Karen had an episode where her sugar spiked to 800 one night. She was rushed to the hospital with ketoacidosis. I almost lost her because we had no insurance. It was a terrible time.
Throughout this period, Karen’s father helped us pay the property taxes every year. He understood that Karen was very sick. Many discussions were had regarding the future. It was always his intention to leave Karen the house,so she wouldn’t have to move from her childhood home with this ravaging illness. There was enough for him to make everyone happy if he had passed. However,he never got around to making out a will due to his own illness.
End Of Part 2/Part 3 tomorrow
Family,please,this is one of the last times we are going to ask for emergency help. We need $400 to cover back rent immediately. We don’t even want it as a donation.We need a loan. I couldn’t get more than $300 for our car that was picked up by the junkyard today. It was heartbreaking. It wasn’t much,but we had it for seven years. Just another sacrifice. just another loss. It is painful beyond measure. Please,those of you who know me know I deplore asking for money,but this will be the last plea because it’s an emergency. We could end up in the street. The anxiety is unbearable. Like I said,we can pay it back next weekend. Please.
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Time is of the essence. Thank you all!
Our Fight For Survival 
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