March 18

    Today,Karen had another dialysis treatment. She is currently sleeping. We’re going to call Westchester Medical Center tomorrow to arrange an appointment to begin the process to get her on the transplant list. The nephrologist at the dialysis center told us today they’re going to put a bigger filter in the dialysis machine. She said they don’t think they’re removing as much toxicity from her blood as they can.

    I help dress her everyday. I make her meals (when she’s hungry) everyday. I help bathe her. I manage her medicine,and administer it. I help her check her blood sugar. I try to encourage her,keep her laughing,and to keep looking forward to what will hopefully be a happy and peaceful future. On the inside,I worry incessantly about what will happen to her. I worry about money. I worry about being able to pay the rent in this hotel every week. I try to care for myself when I’m able. I know I have to in order to do what I do everyday. It’s extremely difficult,but I’m fighting as hard as I can.