How We Got Here

   Before I begin,I apologize for the lack of a coherent technical appearance on this blog. I am not well versed in tech,and this is being written completely from my phone,as we don’t own a computer.

  I honestly don’t care what it looks like. I needed a vehicle other than X to convey to our friends and supporters the trials and tribulations we’re currently existing through.

     I never wanted to ask anyone for charity. I am 52,and always worked from age 13. My wife is 58 and she started working at age 15. It’s a humiliating experience to put ourselves through. We’ve had so many amazing people in the OPLIVE Family help us and we’re beyond grateful for all you’ve done. However, we’ve also been subjected to the occasional judgment and criticism from a few people.

    I’ve been caring for Karen full time since 2017. Karen stopped working in 2015 due to her diabetes and other conditions. We waited 5 years for her to receive her Social Security Disability benefits. It took 2 attorneys to finally prevail. During that time,we lost everything of value we had. We also lost our credit. When we finally did receive Karen’s benefits,she only got a year of retroactive payments. After they deduct for her Medicare,she only gets about $1,300 monthly. It’s almost impossible to live off of.

    As anyone would obviously wonder,”Where are their families?” Well,the sad answer to that question is 90 percent of both of our families are deceased.

   On my side,I lost my beautiful Mother, Sharon,to breast cancer in 1997. She was only 52. I took care of her everyday for many years,and not just through the cancer. My father,Ray,passed in 2013 of COPD at only 72. He was retired, remarried,and living in Tampa at the time. I also had an Aunt that I took care of for a year who passed in 2003. My Sister died of a sudden heart attack walking to the Laundromat from her house. She died in the street. I have experienced endless losses since I was young,and now there is nobody left.

   Karen has 2 siblings,but they don’t live close by and are busy with their careers and lives. The dynamics of their relationship I will write about another time.

  I am going to use this Blog to update you all about Karen’s condition and our living situation. I’ll also delve into the past at times,to provide context on many of our issues.

    Besides Karen’s dire medical situation,the biggest struggle we face daily is housing and survival. Karen lived in her family home for 47 years. Her family moved from the Bronx to the Mid Hudson Valley neighborhood of East Fishkill in 1977. Sadly,her parents divorced in 1981,and her father remarried and moved to Florida. Her siblings moved out to start their lives in the 90s. Karen didn’t want to leave her mother alone,so she sacrificed her dreams and worked a local retail job for many years. As each year passed, Karen’s Mom became depressed,sick,and retired from her job working in a nursing home in 1996. Karen took care of her and the house from then on, with little to no help from anyone. We were married in March 2013. Sadly,her Mom passed in November of that year.I will go into specifics of her Mom’s decline at another time. Karen was devastated.

   Fast forward to when I had to stop working in 2017 to care for Karen full time. Her Dad was helping us pay the property taxes during this time. Unfortunately,he passed of Covid 2 days before Christmas in 2020.We had made an agreement with the tax office to pay what we could monthly.

  Neither of Karen’s parents left a will,and the house was in both of their names. In April of 2024, Karen’s brother called us and told us he and his other sister decided they were selling the house. We were behind on the taxes,but weren’t in danger of tax foreclosure. Without any say in the matter,the first cash offer was accepted on a short sale basis,leaving us only 2+ months to try to get 47 years of Karen’s history together and find a place to store them. We could only afford a tiny storage unit,so we had to abandon our furniture,and most of Karen’s precious memories.We were devastated. The house was sold so cheaply,and after we paid the tax bill and split the proceeds 3 ways,we were only to receive a little over $30,000. Most of this money is still in a probate account that we can’t access until May. The rest has already gone to paying the $500 weekly to stay in this hotel. We have housing applications in,but the waiting lists are long and nothing is certain. We’ve been to Social Services and they can only break us up and go into a shelter (where we would lose the cats) or put us into a rodent infested motel in a dangerous area. Karen’s condition requires the most sanitary environment possible. I have health issues too,but I keep pushing to keep my wife and cat family together.

    The bottom line is,we aren’t extravagant people. We haven’t purchased any new clothing in a few years other than one or two shirts. We don’t eat takeout. Our 22 year old car is broken down. We need either donations to survive or a loan until we can access what funds we have left from the forced sale of the home. Karen and I were devastated having to leave our house. It wasn’t much,but it was safe,and it was home. Unfortunately,the stress from the financial issues is taking a toll on both of us and is a barrier to achieving a future of good health for Karen. She needs to get on the transplant list ASAP. She is not tolerating the dialysis well. She is in a state of constant fatigue.

This is my first post,and if you’ve read this far,I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

If there is any way you can donate,either visit the GoFundMe on my pinned tweet on X or for a direct donation,my Cash app is $BFN73 and my PayPal is under my name (Brian Nearey) make sure Nearey is spelled with that extra E or under my email which is bn11473@gmail.com. If you have any questions about anything,if you’d like documentation about anything,please call me at 845 489 3018. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. Thank you all so much!

Brian